Broken Illusions

A Message for Readers: This piece is the cry of someone who is emotionally broken. They have pretended to be alright for so long that everyone believing they can never be hurt. As invulnerable as they might seem, there is always an action, an event, a trigger than can bring them down. No one is immune to it, no matter what they say. But pride stops them from openly asking for help. It is not the time or place for their loved ones to punish them for their ego, but to help them heal. If you know anyone who is silently hurting, check up on them, because the desperation to be cared for can be overwhelmingly painful.

(Picture from Pexels)

I remember I was promised earnestly

That the hands would never stop

But my trust stands betrayed

As time, in all the glory it sang about,

Slows down, coming to a standstill.

The effort it takes to smile,

Pulling up the corners of my lips

In response to unmoving humor,

Proves to be insufficient, lacking:

Every muscle contracts painfully.

Joy remains widespread in the world

But I cannot find and keep it,

It eludes me, over and over again,

Brushing past, slipping from my fingers,

Like wisps of smoke on a dark night.

Street lights at the corner of the road

Stand invitingly, glimmering with sin;

My palms burn under its luminance,

The red patches asking me to remain

Amongst the shadows.

Always taught to hide the grief

I sit back, waiting for miracles,

Wondering if someone would notice

And dare break through the walls

I built years ago to protect them.

Where are the prying eyes and voices

When I want to be seen the most?

Must I fall to my knees to be looked after?

Have my illusions fooled everyone so

That no one can see past the lies I craft?

I am so tired, and so lonely, here.

Please, notice me for what I have become

Brave the obstacles that lead you to me

Risk it for me, someone has to,

Because I can take it no more.