THE JOURNEY

THE INFINITY SERIES: PART II

It hits me that it is well past 3, and I haven’t started. I don’t disturb the projector. I start by picking up the bigger stuff, and putting it in the trash can I carry in my cart. I keep one eye on the screen. The song has ended, and I wish it hadn’t. It was so soothing. The introduction is back. I quite like it. There is a train station, and the boys look distraught, angry. The subtitles read: Danger, 2014. It is completely the opposite of Just One Day, and I wonder if it was placed this way in the video to show how diverse their discography is. The streamers take a long time to collect. They are tangled and get torn easily. I take multiple rounds of the hall, while occasionally dancing to Danger.

The floor looks cleaner, already. The song changes. I have a broom and dustpan in hand. My back is to the projector. Something about the song makes me turn around. I NEED U, 2015. I stare, as I see the boys struggling, alone. From time to time, I have to tell myself it is acting. Yet, I find myself worrying and being troubled. By the time I NEED U ends, I am in near tears. Did they win any award for this song? They deserve it. It is so beautiful.

I shake my head and start sweeping, when a voice asks, “Hi, there. Are you enjoying?” At first, I think someone is there in the room. But soon enough, my eyes travel to the screen, with the letters appearing across it. “I hope you are. What you have seen till now, are songs from BTS’ first three years of debut. Do you think you are becoming an ARMY yet?” ARMY? As in the military one? “I’m sorry, I should explain. ARMY is the name of their fandom. BTS and ARMY have a very strong bond. Maybe it is too soon to feel like an ARMY. I will come back in an hour and ask you again. Bye. Enjoy.”

As the hour clock slowly moves from four to five, and I am more than halfway through cleaning the entire hall, I wipe away tears for the fifth time. I cry first, when a song called Save Me plays. The boys are on a green-land, and the pain in their voice opens old wounds. I remember the time I was undergoing anxiety, and used to plead to my classmates to notice, to understand. To save me. I have barely recovered, when I am hit so hard, I think I will fall. Spring Day, a song that I understand is about loss and waiting for things to get better, grips me tightly. It is the hug you need at the end of a long day; it is the love you don’t get but crave all your life.

I weep again, when Epiphany sung by Jin, the first solo song in the video, plays. It has him trying to love himself, to understand that before anyone else, he must consider himself worthy of his love. His voice is so emotional, that it evokes empathy almost automatically. I find myself praying that Jin finds the ability to love himself. I laugh, when I see a short clip of the boys performing Spine Breaker. They are so much older, mature looking now.

I think I am in the clear, when The Truth Untold starts. It is a Live Performance, by the vocalists. If I close my eyes and focus only on the music and the voices, it makes me sad. But the lyrics make me blink tears. Does BTS know how much their songs can make listeners cry?

There is a skit. Jungkook goes into something called The Magic Shop and Jimin tries to help him find the cure to his problem. The other five help, but after a series of exhausting sessions for everyone, a solution does not appear, until Jimin realises that the shoes that Jungkook wears to most of their practices is the solution. I told myself I will not cry when the skit is going on. I almost succeed, but they sing Magic Shop live after it is over, and I am bawling. The floor is entirely clean now. The furniture and stage are left.