FIRST SIGHT

The armchair has been sat in far too many times. As I sink into the comfortable depression, I hear a flurry of giggles and excited whispers. I smile and wonder what they are planning to ask me. Every Christmas Eve, they request me to narrate an incident from my life, and I could not say no. That was the deal. You cannot refuse a child’s wish, not when your heart fills with love just by the sound of his voice. Young though they were, each year, they came up with interesting questions and I had been driven to tell stories only my husband, Nate, had ever heard. I feel a pang in my chest, and I push it away.

The voices have hushed down now, and soon, three children walk into the living room, looking at me expectantly. They take a seat on the carpet and without missing a beat, the eldest, Sharon says, “Are you ready?” The straightforwardness in her tone makes me laugh, she has inherited it from her mother. “Yes, honey. What is it going to be about?”

The kids glance at one another, a little hesitant. A moment of silence is followed by Alex, Sharon’s younger brother, saying, “Can you tell us about the time you first met Grandpa Nate?” I finally understand the trepidation, they did not know if I would be comfortable talking about him. I stare at the wrinkles on my hand, tracing their way through my fingers and tell myself that this is a happy story, and I can make it through.

“Where is your ginger-bread cheesecake?” I ask, which is my way of saying I will be starting the narration shortly. Just then, my daughter, Lisa enters with three slices of cake. “Ma, you are the best”, cries out Alex as she hands them the food. Sharon says the magical phrase, “Dessert first!” which she learnt from Nate. Lisa settles herself down on the floor with them, and looks at me, her eyes reassuring me.

“I was a junior in High School. My parents had shifted to a new city, and so, on my first day, I was nervous. I didn’t show it, of course, but I felt it in the way I slowly walked down the corridor and delayed the moment when I had to walk into my class. When I did I felt all eyes turn to me. I was the new admit. I did not want to show how this attention made me want to shrink into a corner and so I forced myself to raise my head. That, is when I first saw him.”

Suzie, the baby out of the three, beams at me. I continue, “He had not noticed the change in the atmosphere of the class, because he was deeply engrossed in reading a book. He had straight black hair, with a few strands falling over his forehead, that was creased in concentration, gaze flitting quickly through the lines and fingers flipping open the next page. For a moment, I stared at him. I couldn’t look away. When the Homeroom Teacher entered the class and asked us to take our seats, I was broken out of my reverie. I looked around the class, frantically, trying to see where I should sit. I chose a seat behind him.”

Lisa raises her eyebrows. I grin, sheepishly. “Professor Carla took roll call and addressing me, ‘Ah, James Turn. Welcome to Scholars High School. I hope you have your class schedule with you.’ Once again, everyone turned to look at me, except him. I did not know why, but it annoyed me. What was so engrossing about the book? Shaking away the feeling, I nodded at her, eager to lose the interest of my classmates. A few names later, she called out his. Nathaniel Wane. I did not know it was him, until she said, ‘I see he is lost in another mythical world today.’

“Did he not notice you at all, Grandpa? Maybe you could have worn, like a neon yellow t-shirt. I’ve heard neon colors are so bright, you cannot help but catch sight of them,” Sharon chimed in. Lisa whispered something to her, that made her nod knowingly. We raised her right, I thought.

“I could not have stayed back to talk to him, because that would make other people suspicious. So, when everyone left for the first class, so did I. During the first half of the day, I did not see him. We did not have any class in common. I tried to push him out of my mind and focus on calculus. When you grow older, you’ll realise it is hard to study it, even if you give it your full attention. Anyway, I was dreading lunch. In my previous school, I had a set place. Here, I did not. I entered the cafeteria, and made a beeline for the area where food was being served. I picked up a tray and stood behind a girl from my Psych Class. The line moved slowly. I had picked up an apple, a packet of crisps and a taco. I was eyeing the chocolate pudding cups at the end. By the time I reached, the tray only had one left. I was about to take it, when another hand stretched out to pick it up. Without looking up, I knew who it was. Just my luck. He was looking embarrassed, the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. I said, ‘You can take it. It’s alright.’ He smiled, shyly, and I felt my cheeks turning red. ‘No, you were here first. You should take it. Uh… Yeah.’”

“Tell me you did not take it,” Alex says, sounding worried. I shake my head. “I asked him to take it. He did not respond for about five seconds, and I started to get anxious. The people behind me were getting agitated. “Can we share it?” My mouth dropped open, for a split second. I nodded, not wanting to refuse. We walked over to an empty table and sat down face to face. He placed the opened pudding cup in the middle of the table and picked up a plastic spoon. I felt confused. He grinned and said, ‘Desserts first. That is the rule. I’m Nate. You are… James, right?’ I nodded, as we dug into the pudding.

As it turns out, he had noticed me.”